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Often people look at a married couple and wonder how the
relationship "works." A difficult situation may
occur that leaves outsiders mystified as to why one or the
other doesn't leave the relationship. For as many marriages
as there are, there are as many ways to get along, and nobody
really knows how a marriage works, except the couple themselves.
A famous couple that illustrates this is Bill and Hillary
Clinton. Some people predicted Hillary would divorce Bill
as soon as he left the Presidency or soon after, but it
never happened. Others, cynically, figure it is a marriage
of convenience. Those observers of the marriage, who know
nothing or little about temperament, invariably underestimate
it, most likely because they project their own belief system
(e.g., their own implicit temperament perspective) onto
Bill and Hillary, assuming that Bill and Hillary must believe
and react in manner they would believe and react.
Often wildly differing temperaments in a marriage work
well together, because they are so different. Clinton, a
Performer
Artisan
(ESFP), is almost completely opposite his Fieldmarshal
Rational
(ENTJ) wife, Hillary. These nearly opposing types seem to
make it work. Each contributes something to the marriage
that the other lacks.
Clinton means what he says when he says it, but tomorrow
he will mean what he says when he says the opposite. He
is the existential President, living with absolute sincerity
in the passing moment." -- New York Times.
She loves talking about ideas. But ask her about
herself, and she shuts down emotionally." -- Wellesley
classmate
People ask, "How can an ardent feminist like Hillary
love an ardent tail chaser like Bill?" Well, actually
Hillary has answered this question in her direct "Rational" way,
despite her natural reluctance to talk about personal things.
In her book "Living History", Hillary says: [emphasis
added]
After all that has happened since, I'm often asked
why Bill and I have stayed together. It's not a question
I welcome, but given the public nature of our lives,
it's one I know I will be asked again and again. What
can I say to explain a love that has persisted for decades
and has grown though our shared experiences of parenting
a daughter, burying our parents and tending to our extended
families, a lifetime's worth of friends, a common faith
and an abiding commitment to our country? All I know
is that no one understands me better and no one can make
me laugh the way Bill does. Even after all these years,
he is still the most interesting, energizing and fully
alive person I have ever met. Bill Clinton and I started
a conversation in the spring of 1971, and more than thirty
years later we're still talking.
What this indicates is that the Fieldmarshal-Rational,
Hillary, finds the Performer-Artisan, Bill, interesting.
To a Rational, the best compliment is to be an interesting
person. The worst thing in the eyes of Rational is to be
an intellectually boring person. Artisans also have a low
tolerance for boring people, although they have a different
sense of boring from the Rational. Each temperament finds
different things interesting and boring, but Bill shares
his assessment in that he knew that his life with Hillary
would not be boring. Both Bill and Hillary being utilitarian
in nature, have found that their partnership works for them;
they love each other, but more important they are fascinated
by each other. And that is what matters in the end.
As Dr. Keirsey says about the Rational-Artisan relationship:
Although the Rational mating style can seem over-controlled
at times, it has its attractions for the other temperaments.
Artisans admire both the Rational's penchant for effective
action and their refusal to be bound by convention, while
at the same time they enjoy trying to jolly the NTs up a
bit, getting them to stop being so serious and obsessive
about their work.
What has Bill gotten from the marriage? What did this brilliant,
handsome, charismatic, fun-loving guy see in a coke-bottle
glasses, no makeup, carelessly dressed law student? His
first impression when seeing her in law class indicates
an important part of his attraction.
"I spotted a woman I hadn't seen before.
Apparently she attended even less frequently than I did.
She had thick dark blond hair and wore eyeglasses and no
makeup, but she conveyed a sense of strength and self-possession
I had rarely seen in anyone, man or woman."
Soon afterwards, Bill Clinton and Hillary Rodham became
inseparable. When he took Hillary to see his mother (a Performer-Artisan
like himself), he relished the incongruity of the two powerful
women in his life.
"I got a kick out of watching them figure
each other out. Overtime they did, as mother came to care
less about Hillary's appearance and Hillary came to care
more about it. Underneath their different styles, they are
both smart, tough, resilient, passionate women."
Despite Hillary's attraction to Bill, Hillary Rodham was
her own woman, not deciding to marry Bill until much later
in their relationship, even though Bill had asked her to
marry him numerous times. When Hillary moved to Arkansas, to
be near Bill, he had already begun his campaign for a seat
as an Arkansas Congressman. The campaign was put together
in an amateur, hit-or-miss fashion, and when she walked
into Clinton campaign headquarters and saw the tangled mess,
including the "small wrinkled notes that Clinton, typically,
had spilled out onto a desk," she was shocked "at
the absolute anarchic lack of discipline at Clinton's headquarters."
Once she grasped the nature of a situation, Hillary Rodham
took charge of it. It doesn't matter whether it is organizing
a childhood play, a political campaign, this is what Rational-Fieldmarshals
do. What came next was no surprise: The next day Rodham's
friend Sarah Ehrmann watched her determined friend take
over the campaign office with her usual command and efficiency.
The matching of temperaments was perfect: Clinton, the piecemeal
improviser, was not good at mobilizing any sort of extended
campaign but it was Hillary Rodham's natural strength as
a Fieldmarshal.
Now that the table has turned in the relationship, for Hillary
will be most likely be running for President in 2008, what
will Bill do? We think it will be safe to say that Bill will
help Hillary in any way he can. As a Performer, his
talent is in front of crowd, and his natural popularity and prestige
as a former President, he should be a great help to Hillary on the
campaign trail.
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